Worse then Better

So, I find that my current feelings are probably a good analogue for the way the world works. It seems like things have to go really wrong before people have the courage to fix them.

My current state? Fatigued, drained, foggy.

Writing this is taking so much of my brain power that it is amazing. I am just glad that I have a guide through all this. Thank you Miss ;)

I am eating healthy foods these days, and that is causing my body to release stored toxins from the crap I had been eating before, which is too bad that my body is having to go through all this, and that my mind is suffering.

However, as with anything, hope is the best part. I am happy that once this is over, my body will be healthier, and that I will feel better.

I have no pictures or words of wisdom to impart today. I just have me, getting through this, so that I can be healthy.

Thank you all for reading :) I will get back to my routine views on life, both good, bad, and what could be beautiful, as soon as possible.

Learning, A Never Ending Process, Fatigue, and The Joys of Today

To me life is a continual lesson, and that learning is optional. It is sad but true, many people seem to hit a point in their life where they don't want to learn anymore. For me, I hope to never lose my passion for knowledge. Even if it is not in a specific area, I just like to learn, mostly processes, facts, ideas, concepts, etc. I hope to be a robotics engineer when I am done with school, and to me, this field will be full of excitement. There will always be new technology, new things to learn, new ideas that are conceived.

If all we have is this life, I want to understand as much of it as I can.

Also, I started eating healthy food finally, and I am becoming fatigued. I find it interesting that, just like in life, things tend to get worse before they get better. I am happy to know that things will improve.

Today has been an ideal day, I have spent it basically talking to the person I love. It makes my heart so happy to hear her voice. It has been wondrous.

If I were to impart any of my limited "wisdom" on you readers, it would be this, find someone you love, and spend time with them whenever you can. It can be one person, or it can be many, but life is enhanced when moments are shared with an important person. There is beauty in solitude of course, but life is punctuated by the people who love you, and that you love back. I know that sharing a moment with that special person can take a good moment, and turn it into a glorious one.

A sunset is beautiful when viewed alone, and an experience when shared with that person.

Projects

I find that to me, making something for someone you love, is one of the best pleasures in life. I was at the park today, and I saw this amazing B, just the letter, on a wooden sign, that looked aged many years. And I was taking its picture, when I came up with the great idea. It was so much fun, the hunt, the excitement, and when she saw it. It was all such a great thing.

Today I was at a baseball game for specially abled (mentally handicapped), and physically disabled, children. And, despite the fact that they will face many obstacles in life, including discrimination, they were such beautiful souls. They played and laughed and hit and ran, and they were no longer different, but they were a group of friends playing a game. Their souls shone threw their eyes, and the eyes of their parents getting to watch something that they might never have thought possible. As I watched these kids run around, almost chaotically as rules were usurped for the joy of the kids, I saw the people running the game. They were volunteers, brothers, sisters, moms, and dads, of kids who face challenges we can only imagine, and it renewed my faith. There are people who are undeniably good.

This good outweighed the things that made my faith waver, as to me, good is so much more strong than bad.

Skeason

So as anyone who reads this knows, I tend to have random observations, and more often than not they relate to my general disillusionment with our society. Usually, at least in my mind, based on the lack of love, or "unlove," as I like to call it. But I spend a large portion of my day realizing things, when I am working, relaxing, playing, driving, eating, and sometimes even sleeping. Sometimes I remember these things, but more often than not I forget them, as new things pop into my head, and others just take precedence. Although it may seem that I see things very negatively that is not the case. Even the things that I am upset about, I feel can be changed, if only we want to work on it. However, there are a lot of things that I notice that are pure good. Many of them can be seen in my flickr photostream.

Today I found something interesting, and in my opinion beautiful. I was driving and was realizing how complex our eyes are. I mean, I had heard the anatomy of the eye many times. I have heard what it is capable of, and how powerful it is, but it actually hit me while driving. When I realized how much like a camera my eye is. It has a lens, must focus, has a diaphragm for aperture, etc. However, it is entirely biological. How much work goes into each scene that I observe. Looking around my room I see color, distance, shape, size, texture, symbols and much more.

I realize how much beauty surrounds me, and how fortunate I am to see these things. Life has many gifts, and sight is one of them.

I Have Absolutely No Idea Where This Will Go: The Blog

So today has been uneventful, yet strangely pleasant. I have seen nothing that has made me made me wonder about the state of the world. I stayed in my own little world, took pictures, and talked to Thorn. It was nice.

Hmm... Maybe there is something interesting here, in staying in your own world. What does that mean for me as a person? Is it okay for me to just sit back and pretend their are no problems, in the world? I don't know...

This is a little more incoherent than normal because I have no plan, although I had a few ideas earlier, I have forgotten them all.

This might just be a filler post, maybe I will talk about where I am as a person.

I got some grades finally, and I have 2 A's so far, and 2 unknown grades. One of the A's was in an absolute joke of a class, which was entitled Linguistic Anthropology. I have found, in the classes that I have taken, that I care very little for how anthropology is taught. And I guess this comes down to how I see learning, and what I find important.

In my anthro classes, the importance was often put upon the name of a person, not necessarily what they discovered, or realized. I may understand how a specific theory works, but I didn't earn the point because I could not name the person who came up with the theory. This would be like a math test asking you who came up with the quadratic formula. How incredibly rediculous would that be? Isn't the importance in being able to take an idea, synthesize it in your mind, then utilize in a real world manner? Knowledge to me is action, if you understand something and apply it to the world then that knowledge is successfully implanted. If you know the name of the person who created that knowledge, that is all well and good, but does not mean you can implement its uses.

Knowledge is really action and understanding, not facts. Facts are important, but should not be considered the main reason for learning.

O well, such is life!

Let me look at some good. I am feeling happy, I am very much in love, and I am enjoying my life. I have a week off before I start job hunting for a summer job, since work just ended. I do need to make a dentist appointment though. I am working on a new art piece for my flickr account, one of my paper creations. I think it will be cool, and have some nice hidden meanings. Thorn, don't ruin it :) hehe. Anyway, thank you all for sticking by me the last week that I didn't post. Things are picking back up!

Good night everyone and sweet dreams.

A Day Like Any Other

So today I am back to my hobbies, as I have no school or work right now. Although, I will need to go job hunting soon, yuck. I am back to my web design, although, the one I was working on turns out to be not wanted, so I will work on my own project. But I was thinking today about myself.

I realize that I am unusual, I am both artistic, and mathematical. But, I have never thought of myself as exceptional at either, seeing people who are good at only one exceed my talents easily. I find that it may be a curse, or a blessing, but I can handle almost any subject that is thrown at me. However, I think I have rediscovered my gifts, which are namely two, in my opinion. That of photography, and if you have ever looked at my flicker, I have owned that camera since March 19. Which, is a little less than 3 months. The other one being that of computer programming. It seems a strange combination, but both of them make me feel so amazing on the inside. And this brings me to my current thoughts.

Before I do get to them however, a random one popped into my head as I was writing this. I also throughly enjoy many things, anything really that involves thinking. That is why I started this blog, because I have thoughts that I feel might help other people understand life, or maybe just realize something new. I guess I would classify this as my minds way of making sense of the world, and who I am. Today has been more a post about who I am, than any profound (at least in my mind) thoughts. However, I will add something that might mean something to someone.

The real trick to life has nothing to do with fame, money, fun, success, or any other superficial thing. It is being who you are, no matter what happens. This seems easy, and I feel like I have talked about this before, however today I feel it linked to television.

How is it that we can expect kids to grow up to be themselves when they are being force fed to believe in what is cool and what is not. The Disney Channel and Nickelodeon are just two examples of this. However, the thing that shocked me above all else, something that I could not believe. It was a made for TV movie, on Teen Nick. And one of the scenes in the preview involved a teenager taking off her panties (yes a supposed teen) while in a limo. I watched this and realized that my little brother, of 13 no less, was watching these shows. What morals are we teaching children when at the age of 13 they are being exposed to such adult themes.

This made me think more as I started wondering, who is writing this stuff? What adults have so little regard for our future, that they feel people should be exposed to things like this at younger and younger ages. I don't want censorship, I want people to believe that children are not made or money, and now seemingly sex. I want people to feel responsible for each other.

Like I have said over and over, the problem isn't with regulations, but with a lack of love. If you loved the children watching the show, the actress meant to play the role, or the people who would be effected at all, would you still produce something like this? These shows are not the problem, they are merely a symptom of a global sickness. One of greed and selfishness. I will say it again, and probably more often, Love can solve so many problems. Just try it.